Central Village

Clutter

If I may talk about my Knicks for a second...

Bill Simmons returned to form last week with his mock transcript from The Atrocious GM Summit. Seeing that my living room is in the process of a rearrangement and I am currently in possession of two giant TVs, a oversized ottoman that doesn't really fit and at least one big comfy chair too many, I could relate to this...

Layden: ...For example, let's say you spent $3,000 on a living room sofa two years ago that you didn't really like. To make the sofa stand out a little less, you bought a leather chair for $2,200 that doesn't match --.

Simmons: Marbury is the sofa and Jamal Crawford is the chair in this case?

Layden: Precisely. And the room still looks bad. So now, you're on Craigslist and you see that someone is selling another $3,000 sofa for $900 that's almost exactly like the sofa you have. And there's no way you would ever want two big, ugly sofas in the same room. It would just look ridiculous. But your mind-set is, "Hey, how can I turn down a $3,000 sofa for $900?" So you buy the sofa and stick it in the room, which is now cluttered with stuff since you also spent another $10,000 on some crummy art, a coffee table with support problems, two giant bookcases that have to be turned sideways, some wobbly end tables and a smashed sculpture that was patched back together with duct tape. But since it's too late to go back, you spend another $5,000 on an interior decorator to make the room work. Well, you know what would happen? He wouldn't be able to make it work. You bought too much crap.

Just a perfect analogy. Almost as good as the Global Conflict, here we coooooooooome piece from the Yale Daily earlier this month. It's just so painful that this is reality of my team. When he wrote "that they won't be under the cap until 2009", my first thought was "Wow...2009's not so far away." Of course I'll be pushing 30 by then and if the payroll against the cap drops by a nickel in that time, I'll be beyond shocked. Also by 2009, Brooklyn will have the Nets. I've had some unbelievable memories of the Knicks throughout my youth, but if nothing seems closer to getting fixed by then, I'll have to give them some serious thought. Not. Giving. Up. Hope. Yet, tho.

Quite Lame

I'm not sure what it is exactly, but Bill Simmons has really fallen in the last few months. It started right around when he took an extended time off to do the book tour, only writing one column a week. When he got back to regular posting, the articles seemed especially shallow and not completely thought through. Almost as if somebody else was writing the columns trying to emulate the Simmons style. It's seemed really off the last couple weeks, in particular. He's a busy guy and writes a lot, so I'm not completely dismissing him just yet, but it seems we've hit a rough patch. His bitching about the Patriots is the worst. Absolute worst. Like a little baby. He was the one who wrote the rule stating the 5-year waiting period to bitch about a championship team. Now he goes out and calls the Pats loss to the Broncos "One of the toughest Boston losses ever" Good God man, are you for real? Have you become that spoiled that you honestly believe an overachieving Pats team, which won 3 of the last 4 goddamn Superbowls, losing to a team in the playoffs on the road was one of the toughest losses ever? I seriously doubt it. Get over yourself.

Sorry. That came out angrier than I meant it to. But it's really frustrating watching the guy who set the standard on how to rationally hate teams like the Yankees turn into something equally as bad. On the positive note, he managed to name drop a couple of bands in his last column as a recommendation to the NFL promo dept. as to what they should be using as "Cool music with a quick riff to get you fired up for the football game":

"Banquet" by Bloc Party
"Sweet Troubled Soul" by StellaStarr*
"Tribulations" by LCD Soundsystem
"This Isn't It" by Giant Drag
"Finding Out True Love is Blind" by Louis XIV

Well played, Mr. Simmons. Especially on the Giant Drag nod. Sounds like someone's been listening to indie 103 on their way to the Clippers game...and perhaps reading more of The ILB (who ranked Giant Drag #34 on the list.)

Rouge Bowl

I don't follow College Football even slightly...but last night was one of the most exciting games I've ever watched. And how great is that picture?? Vince Young, after losing the Heisman to Reggie Bush a few weeks earlier, does "the pose" with the National Champion Trophy under his arm! So good. Especially after dickhead Leinart claims postgame that they were still the better team, but just couldn't execute. So lame.  I thought this Bill Simmons' diary seemed particularly mailed in...most likely due to the fact that he knows nothing about the sport either, so I won't hold it against him. It was especially amusing to read him talk shit about Young at the beginning at the game, just knowing that by the end he'd be slobbering all over him. "I now have him ranked above every NFL QB except for Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Carson Palmer." came a mere 3 and a half hours after "There's no way Vince can succeed in the NFL." As Simmons would say, high comedy.

I would love the Jets to get Vince Young with the #4 pick, tho it seems now that he may not last that long. He'd be the exact type of superstar the Jets need to get their shit back together and have people care about them again. I've been a Giants fan since birth, but have nothing against the Jets. They've just always been the absolute most boring team in the league. I think a new Vinny would do them wonders.
(pic above via the recently returned Spinach Dip)

Feely Good

I've been trying out a new morning routine this week, which so far involves getting up an hour earlier, making Eggo waffles and microwaved bacon, drinking pineapple juice, and watching ESPN. During Sportscenter today, I saw a bit on Jay Feely apologizing for blowing the game Sunday night. He said something to the effect of "I'm man enough to admit that I screwed up...something our country could use a little bit more of these days." Burn! Where are those WMD's, Mr. President?

So while I really wish he would have made one of those kicks, and I think it's pretty tough to blame George Bush directly for the Giants loss, it's always nice to hear subtle jabs at the President of the United States slipped into my morning sports coverage.

The WWE at MSG

The last time I gave a shit about Professional Wrestling was during the summer of 1998, when me and some high school buddies went to go see Summerslam at MSG.  We saw Triple H go against The Rock in a Ladder Match and the Undertaker 'fight' Stone Cold Steve Austin for the World Championship.  Don't think I've given it much thought since.  Anyway, the WWE still comes through New York a few times a year, and since I work across the street from the Garden, It is very hard not to notice when the circus is in town.  Today, as I was walking out of my office, I saw Jerry "The King" Lawler talking to a few people in front of the MSG loading dock.  I took a picture.  He's the one in the blue shirt.

While we're on the subject of embarrassing interests of my past, I'm about to head out to see The Bravery for what will likely be the last time.  I am VERY curious to see what the crowd is like. (Jay says hot chicks...) 

It was less than a year ago when I saw them play in the corner of Bar 13 on a random Thursday night to a less than full room.  At the time I was convinced they were gonna be the next big thing.  I just remember wishing they'd tone down the silly stage antics, cause the songs were pretty good and it was distracting.  From everything I hear, they've done nothing but IGNORE my advice and turn up the schtick even more.  Oh well.  Good for them if it sells.